Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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