that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
