Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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