last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
