First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think i have herpe
just one?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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