We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You smell like stripper and shame
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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