That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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