I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
