Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
