Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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