a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
