And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
