4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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