I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
