Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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