How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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