This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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