Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
