everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
