awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
