don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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