You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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