I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
