She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
