end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
