dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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