he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
