I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
