Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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