so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
