plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
