you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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