I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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