he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
