just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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