I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
