He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
