Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
