she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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