You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
