Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
