wakey wakey hands off snakey
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
