I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
