Don't you send me to vm
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
