how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
