I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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