She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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