I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
