so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
