PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
