Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
As shirtless as possible
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
