but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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